This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
