no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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