whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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