Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
