I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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