I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
