at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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