I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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