Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
