Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
