Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
