how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
