you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
There are leaves in my underwear?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
