Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
