my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
