I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
