Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
