i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
