I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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