Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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