A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
