He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
