high people should be assigned attendants
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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