Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He shit in the fireplace
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
