Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I pour the whiskey from now on
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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