had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
