I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
