I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
