Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
