She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I love you.
Bad choice
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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