it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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