I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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