so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
