gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Michael Bay diarrhea
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
