did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
