its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
