Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
