how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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