i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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