Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
