just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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