all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
