office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
