were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
