I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
