Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
