yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
