Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
