Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
