You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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