You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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