Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
